Non-Denominational Weddings

Customized Wedding Ceremonies & Elopements!
​Since 2000
​Ceremonies in Greater Portland, OR  and beyond!
Wedding Planning on site, by telephone, and Zoom Video Conferencing from anywhere!
“Dear Rev. Robin, 
We just wanted to write a note and thank you for such a memorable and touching ceremony. I can certainly say that our wedding was the best day of my life, and it wouldn’t have been as close to the magic that it was without you! Thanks so much. You are a very, very special person.” Love, Kate and Chad
“Our ceremony was very small but it was beautiful and extremely personal. There was not a dry eye.” – Leah and Melissa

Customized Ceremonies

I am a professional marriage minister dedicated to honoring and celebrating your unique bond and beliefs.
​As ordained Unitarian Universalist clergy, I have collaborated with hundreds of couples in the process of planning their non-denominational, spirit-filled, personalized weddings and preparing for their successful marriages. 

I’m especially experienced with:
  • Interfaith, unaffiliated and “spiritual but not religious” couples
  • Non-practicing Catholics and non-religious Jews
  • Agnostics & atheists
  • Individuals of all sexual orientations and gender identities   
  • Enthusiasts of yoga, meditation, and earth-based spirituality
  • Out of town couples
  • Second marriages and unions involving children.
  • Renewal of vows
I enjoy my ministry and value the opportunity to help couples create
​a memorable and joyful wedding experience.
​I bring a wide range of skills and attributes to my work. 
When you retain my services, you'll get much more than “officiating.” I’ll provide:
  • An extensive resource booklet of readings, vows, and tips I've compiled to spark creative ideas in planning your ceremony. (a downloadable pdf) 
  • A warm, witty, accessible human being who will connect well with you, your families and your guests.
  • A respected, ordained clergy person in an historical denomination (Unitarian Universalism), who considers her work a profession and calling, not a sideline or business.
  • A graduate of Harvard Divinity School, who uses her knowledge of different religious traditions, and her own humanist perspective, to weave elements respectfully and creatively into your non-denominational wedding.
  • An experienced and skilled marriage educator and counselor who can help you make your wedding vows a reality through the skill-building PREPARE Marriage prep program.
  • A one-time bride who has lived the “interfaith wedding experience”- I was Jewish, my husband Catholic and we were married by a UU  minister. 
  • A sensitive, insightful and non-judgmental listening ear and guide throughout the entire process from first contact through the pronouncement.
  • An efficient and mature adult who is reliable, organized, and trustworthy.
  • A seasoned public speaker and preacher who will officiate with flair and presence.
  • A published writer and former creative developer/producer for PBS who knows how to craft a ceremony to create flow, feeling and authenticity.
  • ​A pastor and spiritual growth teacher who will help you stay grounded on your path towards marriage.
I am an efficient collaborator. Our planning sessions will be streamlined and convenient by connecting through the Zoom Video conferencing site (free for you). You can even meet with me in your pajamas. On site appointments available in Flagstaff, AZ. 
​
I’m  looking  forward to getting to know you and accompanying you on your path towards marriage.      See Full FAQs below. 

“Love has given you wings and commitment gives you roots."

We Eloped!

Getting married can be a major expense. A trend that has grown over the past few years is smaller, more intimate weddings, sometimes with just the couple and myself.  Even so, I believe you wedding can be small, romantic and special, rather than a forgettable “drive-by” ceremony.  We’ll work together to ensure that your “big day” still feels “big.” 

I officiated at more than 100 intimate "elopement" ceremonies during the COVID pandemic. Highly memorable! 

My elopement packages begin at $360 (travel added) and I can suggest a variety of unique locations around Greater Flagstaff and Sedona, including forest, red rock, and vortex settings. ​



​

The Dearly Beloved Marriage Prep Program

“Every engaged couples doesn’t think they need it.... Every married couple knows they do.” 
Would you like to make your wedding vows a reality for a lifetime? Learn more about the time-tested and skill-building pre-marital program I offer called PREPARE. One couple said it was “the most romantic thing  we did  and best investment we made during our engagement.” 
“I could not imagine a more perfect officiant. Many of our wedding guests told my husband and me that our wedding ceremony was the most meaningful, personal, and all out best they have ever attended. Among Robin's important strengths, was her ability to weave together our religious views (including mine being agnostic/spiritual) and those of our parents. Further, she was able to guide us on how to include my teenage stepsons in the ceremony. Finally, it was evident that she can efficiently observe character traits, preferences, and the bond of a couple and the individuals within that couple. When she officiated, it was as if she had known us for years, despite us having planned the ceremony with her in three weeks or less time. She was incredibly flexible with us despite our short time table and disorganized nature. We highly recommend her. Thanks Robin! -  Jessica and Bob

Wedding Ceremony FAQs

​What are  the fees  and what do they cover? Are there cheaper officiants out there?
You betcha. But the couples I’ve worked with think I’m one of the most grounded, creative and engaging.   
My customized weddings begin at $450,  plus travel (calculated by mileage at 1.00 per mile); weddings farther than 150 miles away (round trip) will require overnight lodging the night prior if there is a rehearsal.
My fee includes:  all planning sessions, a resource booklet, the creation of your ceremony, a rehearsal, officiating on your big day, providing whatever ministerial presence is needed throughout the process, and creating community amongst your guests.
Elopements and simple ceremonies are typically $360 (travel added),  although very brief ceremonies may be less. 
What happens if you are ill or have an unforeseen emergency on the day of my wedding?
​In such a case, I would ask a highly qualified and trusted colleague to serve as your Officiant.
​What is your background and experience?
​I am an ordained Unitarian Universalist minister, with a Masters of Divinity from Harvard. Since 2000, I’ve conducted my professional marriage ministry  which includes elopements, customized ceremonies and relationship counseling and education. Then there’s my background as a journalist and years of theatrical performing…it all works its way into the mix! You can learn more about on the About Rev. Robin page. 
What has inspired you to create a “marriage ministry?”
​During my congregational ministries, I was struck by the very large number of engaged couples who desired and truly needed “ministry,” but were unaffiliated with a religious community that might normally provide it . Over time, I came to recognize a very real demand in the larger community for a professional, positive, “humanist” marriage ministry like mine that really focuses on each couple’s individual relationship, style, perspective, and needs. I’ve performed hundreds of spiritual, uplifting, non-denominational ceremonies that reflect the unique bond and beliefs of the couple. 
​Why should we choose you as our Officiant?
​I’ve covered the essence of that in my introduction to the weddings section of this website. If an officiant tells you he/she doesn't need to confer with you in any depth or will meet you on your wedding day, that's a "drive-by" wedding. Honestly, doesn’t your big day deserve a professional minister (and public speaker) who can hold sacred space for you, your family and guests, and who can weave beauty, joy, love and spirit into your one and only wedding ceremony? 
​How is the wedding ceremony created?
My customized ceremonies are typically 25-30 minutes depending on the elements chosen. We’ll begin with a “get-acquainted session” on Zoom video conference (free for you) to determine if we’re a good match and if it’s a resounding “Yay,” we’ll set off on our journey together. I’ll send you materials and a sample order of service  and we’ll create a timetable for crafting and finalizing your ceremony (via Zoom) prior to a rehearsal.
We live out-of-town. How will we collaborate?
​I’ve worked with dozens of out-of-town couples without any obstacles. Our conversations will take place on Zoom video conferencing (free for you) and our in-person sessions will be arranged at a time when you will be visiting the Portland area, as needed. The remainder of planning is conducted on the phone and via email.
Do we need a rehearsal?
​Yes, this is not a wise place to cut corners. Unless your ceremony is an “elopement,” a rehearsal not only enables everyone to practice the flow and movements of the ceremony, but eliminates the stress of trying to figure out what to do on your wedding day. Rehearsals are efficiently run and scheduled in collaboration with the couple and the venue. 
​Who decides what type of “GOD” language will or will not be used?
​You do. As a Unitarian Universalist minister, I uphold each individual’s right to define the sacred as they understand and experience it. I do not impose a belief system on the couples who engage me as their Officiant. Rather, I serve as a catalyst for your process of expressing your spirituality in the context of your wedding and marriage.

​Often, couples who want to include religious language in their ceremony will choose the word “GOD” rather than something more religiously specific (Christ or Yahweh, for example). Usually, I would only use this word a couple times in the ceremony, as desired. The inclusion of a word like “GOD” can be very reassuring to family members who are more religiously devout than the couple and who would be troubled by a ceremony with no spiritual references at all. But this is always up to the couple (who should not have any reason to cringe during their own wedding). As an alternative, I suggest “Spirit of Life,” a term often used in our free-thinking congregations. 
​What if we want to add some special cultural touches to the wedding?
​I’m all for it. I’ve collaborated with couples to include everything from an Eastern Orthodox crown ceremony to Hindu “seven step” mantras. 1 Corinthians 13 has been recited in Chinese and the 23rd Psalm in Croatian. I’ve heard Latvian prayers and Hebrew blessings. One couple read a poem to one another in Spanish and English; another held a hand-fasting and pledged their love in Gaelic. These Special touches  make your wedding uniquely your own and honor your family’s traditions.
​May I choose readings and elements that are not included in your resource book? 
Of course. I recommend it. Again, my ministry is dedicated to honoring and celebrating your unique bond and beliefs. The booklet I provide has many resources but you are always welcome to include readings and sentiments that resonate for you.
I have children whom we’d like to include in the ceremony. Is that okay?
Yes! I have created a variety of union ceremonies involving children. These include family unity candles, the giving and receiving of gifts, and a sand-blending ceremony.
Is it okay to have a Co-Officiant, such as a priest or rabbi?
​Yes. However, you may not need the co-Officiant in order to include elements that reflect your religious background. Although I do not weave Christian or Jewish “liturgical” elements into my weddings, I have often included Hebrew prayers and readings from sacred texts (including the New Testament) at the request of the couple. If a co-Officiant is retained, I expect to serve as the lead Officiant and to receive payment equal to the co-Officiant, if he/she requests a fee higher than my standard fees.
​What do you wear during the wedding?
I usually wear a creamy white linen blend minister’s robe that has a fitted style and one of several beautiful, hand-crafted minister’s stoles I own. I also own a black minister's robe. In several instances, I have worn a dress and a stole, at the couple’s request. 
Do you require and offer pre-marital counseling or marriage preparation programs? If so, why?
I do not “require it,” but I do believe (and researchers agree) that focusing on your wedding day without planning for your marriage is not in the best interest of your long-term marital success. Unless you are already working with a counselor to intentionally prepare for your marriage, I would encourage you to include the “Dearly Beloved –Prepare” program in your pre-wedding planning. Learn more on the Lovespans Relationship Coaching page.
​PREPARE/ENRICH is a customized couple inventory, completed online with full privacy, that identifies your strength and growth areas. It's time tested and effective. Based on your inventory results, I lead us in  structured sessions that will increase awareness and build skills. I’ve made this process very affordable because I believe so strongly in its value to couples embarking on a relationship as complex as marriage. I’ve facilitated the program with nearly 100 couples and they’ve recognized the value of unpacking and exploring the strengths and growth areas of their relationships. “This was an incredible bang for the buck!” said one satisfied groom. 
​Do you have references we can contact?
Yes, many!  You can read what others are saying on this site for some feedback. If you’d like to speak directly with a couple whom I have served, I can put you in touch. 
​How do we contact  you and get started?
​Please click the Connect with Robin button if you’re ready to get acquainted.